Summer has rolled in and with actual rainfall coming down I’m shocked to see that there is grass on the field. So with an irritated sigh, out comes the tools and the devices and the grass cutting doohickey and off I go. I'm aware some people seem to love to maintain their lawns, investing into a grassy green future with, tools fertilizers and abundance of lawn paraphernalia and arcana I have neither the time not the desire to learn and or care about. I am not one of those amazing lawn people. I just want it to be even and free of pests, such as ants, neighbors and Mormons.
So I don't really have that much concern UNTIL, one day while mindless strolling through my lawn, I saw a new grass thing growing. Some sort of ugly …..growth in my yard, some weird looking flat…weed…thing. I did some research and was informed it might be JOHNSON GRASS, which is some vaguely horrible grass cousin of the cockroach if the local garden websites are to be believed. After recoiling in silent horror I felt I should be proactive I decided to call for weed Armageddon.
I get me some weird killers and sprayed it….no
I weed-eatered it down to the dirt to kill it …no
I dug it up with a shovel in hopes that it could never come back ….no
I let the Texas drought kill like it almost killed my non grassy wife….no
So now at 9 am in the morning, (my bedtime) I find myself wandering my front yard looking like a man who lost his wedding ring for indication of this new grass cockroach hybrid so that I can drop to my knees and tear a the ground with bleeding fingers in hopes to root out the foul addition n to my lawn….
This is not how I planned my life to be
I continue at my job unabated with a growing sense of paranoia that soon…they will learn who I am and then...they will know that I am to be fired as god has cursed me to be so. This may all be pure fantasy in my head, but it’s a fun (if not slightly self defeating) fantasy and intend to maintain it because sometimes I want my life to be more fun……and self defeating….
I went to an anime convention a few weeks ago. I learned several thing at said anime convention...this AKON if you will.
1: there are too many people who go to these conventions
2: there are all 17 to 21
3: I don’t like 17 to 21 years olds
4: I want to dress up as cobra commander or the red skull and go again.
Also as I looked for imaged a of a cobra commander cos play for my blog I found this girl at this link
Jumping Jehoshaphat she’s hot…and dressed as The Baroness with a gun. Which ...sorta pushes it into fetish fuel. Also I’m sure my wife will make rude faces at me for this picture
Speaking of my wife, (see that segue) while at said con I bought a nifty (albeit too expensive) hat. Upon showing to my wife she flew into a rage and called me some horrible name while threatening to leave me cause of the hat. I believe this to be all unfair but I’ll show you a picture of the hat and you can judge for yourself whether she has been tpp unreasonable (as I believe her to be)
Mine is all black…because that’s cooler……and more racist
I stand on the brink or retirement. Not fake retirement where I quit my job and then die of starvation 3 months later but real retirement where I quit my job and just stop working. That’s an unusual place to know that I can kind of move stuff around and not to have to work conceivably for rest of my life. And if that falls apart I can kill myself and force it to happen. Though that might be too similar to the fake retirement I mentioned earlier.
I got a new hobby….fuck me. Thanks to my British transgender friend, (who now that I have labeled as transgender I will never mention again and you people should be happy I told you that much cause it really doesn't matter what she is) I have gotten back into Warhammer 40k miniature painting. She’s a jerk for making me do that. (Cause she totally made me do it, it wasn't me at all). It should be a cheap ass hobby because I pretty much already own all the miniatures. But is it???
Nooooo.
Cause like some idiot, I have a job and I think I should buy all the new cool miniatures out there. I’m sure I’m not gonna paint those either. Much less play the damn game there attached too. That would make “sense” and be a “good idea” which apparently I “can’t do”. I’m sure IronCast has thoughts on this, Wait I know he does cause he already told them to me. And they were …..pretty much all negative.
Next Time ....Prometheus and why people should always kill the robot first
Age Quod Agis
