Whats the point?

Last Blog I wrote one of my “friends” (as if I even have such people in my life) responded immediately to inform me in his poetic way that it

“Was about fucking time”… such language…

I assume this was based on the fact that it had been months since I had previously written a scintillating take on my nigh worthless existence. 

Now…I know that I have an exceedingly large ego that is much beyond the actual arrogance I should possess given my current status and placement on the planet.  But even I would not suspect that anyone gave a single solitary damn about what I write in regards to my monthly musings.  It was oddly reassuring that someone not only reads my blog, but had decided to chastise me for not writing more often.  I suppose I should try harder to make this a “reglear thang”  I guess I have been spurred to greater heights of literary  liaisons by the loquacious leanings of learned listeners (man these alliterations get worse and worse don’t they?) and there fore will endeavor to attempt to update more often for you my dearest and most beloved of ravenous readers.  Though it would help if more of you actually subscribed......just saying.

(In retrospect my ex-wife has also said the same but I may have written that off as “Nagging”)

So I saw “Pacific Rim”

HOLY JEEZUS ON A POPSICLE STICK THIS MOVIE WAS AWESOME!!!

Seriously, this is maybe the greatest thing I have ever seen .  Giant robots fighting giant monsters in the ocean with plasma cannons and rocket powered face punches.  Yes please.  I loved this movie.  Not loved in a nice I really like going to that film and enjoying a pleasing cinematic experience way;  but loved in a I think I might have gotten it pregnant and an really am hoping the test comes back negative way

Did it have plot holes? …YES

Was it cliche at times? …YES

Was their bad acting?...YES

Was it still the greatest movie since ……ever?…YES!!!

You there reading this blog, throw your computer down, grab your wallet and run to see it.  Don’t stop for traffic lights or babies in strollers or people holding hands enjoying love in the summertime.  They will just make you miss the opening SO RUN THEM OVER.  Go and see it …and come back a CHANGED MAN……or woman.

This was the hardest damn image to correlate that change comment to.....

As some of you might have guessed (cause I told you) I paint miniatures for my Tactical miniature combat game that I don’t play.  I’ve already resolved this incongruity in my life about collecting shit I am never going to use.  What I have not resolved is how GLACIALLY LIKE SLOW I am at painting them.  I like painting them… I really do…I’ll sit an hour or so hunched over like some demented hunchback painting an eyeball the size of a ants head…failing…and still feel its time worth spent.  But...actually going to sit down and start to do it.  That seems oddly hard.    Like if I said hey you …do you like ice cream and you said Hell yeah I love ice cream.  Ice cream is freaking awesome…Like, I’d wear ice cream if it was clothes, I’d drive ice cream if it was a car, I’d have sex with ice cream if it was a guurl…I might have sex with ice cream, even though it’s not a guurl and then I said do you want some  and then you said ..I don’t know…maybe I don’t like ice cream…WTH!!?? 

The conversation  might go something like this

Me “Hey you do you like ice cream?”

Guy:  “Hell yeah I love ice cream.  Ice cream is freaking awesome...I’d wear ice cream id if it was clothes,  I’d drive ice cream if it was a car, I’d have sex with ice cream if it was a guurl…I might have sex with ice cream, even though it’s not a guurl”

Me:  “Do you wants some?”

Guy:  “I don’t know…maybe  I don’t like ice cream.”

ME:   “Wth!!??”

It would be just like that.

So every Monday I indulge in some 1 dollar tacos from this place down the road that’s not a taco bell so there decent 1 dollar tacos and don’t you look at me like that you judgmental jerk.  At this restaurant is a waiter.  He’s a scruffy looking surfer dood who knows me and is good with my orders, knows what I drink and is fast, friendly and efficient.  And I’ve COMPLETELY abandoned his section in order to sit in the bar where I can be waited on by this waitress who …and I’ll border on being crude here, has a fantastic body.  And a pretty face... and I’m sure winning personality and intelligence or whatever.  I know why I sit in her section; I don’t need to explain it.  Last time, while debating with Ironcast on the feasibility of asking said hot guurl on a date,  I was reminded of a moment long long ago when I was at a restaurant with my friends and there was a cute waitress and I said to them I’ll go ahead  and ask her out cause I’m not afraid of the fairer sex…AND I DID!!!  But they said it wasn’t a good example of any sort of bravery cause they were there and it easier with friends around you.  Now while I, at the time,  protested this ludicrous theory, looking back on it ...HOLY JIMINY THEY WERE RIGHT!!  I only asked that poor guurl on a date (she said no and then showed me her engagement diamond…wow) because I was flanked by my would be cronies.  Man they must have embarrassed to be seated with me at that time when I made that waitress feel waaaaay uncomfortable with my bumbling forwardness…

Well good!!, the price of my awesome friendship is the rare moments like that.  Revel in my jerkiness.     

Point of this story?  I think I’ve made a lot of people uncomfortable over the years…and it fills me with dirty, slippery, oily JOY

So on my Facebook I have a friend named …..”Starfucked”…OK she’s not a friend, She’s a person I befriended on Facebook…which is not a true/good/loyal/anything friend..it’s more of some….chick…who models…in…less clothing than some other chicks wear…and is hot.

*Coughs uncomfortably*  

Point of that story,….I’m uhhh…”friends” with someone named “Starfucked”…..do I need a point?

Here's your point

NOT EVERY BLOG IS AWESOME!!!!! 

Finally...while writing this blog and looking for pictures to add to my change comment earlier I found this image as a potential image for use. 

not the image I chose

Curious as to where it came from I stumbles across a blog that was all about......some....really depressing stuff.  While my blog is sometimes introspective and occasionally vile..Its also meant to be ..hopefully... humorous.  This other person's blog is GODDAMNED depressing.  Page upon page upon page of the most sorrowful pitying I feel sad and I want you know about it blogging....dear lord get some sunshine buddy ...or drugs...or a prostitute....SOMETHING to cheer you up.  Looking it over I have to say...for all my friends who may suffer from some sort of clinical depression, you have my heartfelt  sympathies.  I cannot fathom the depths of despair that you are prone too and can only offer my support  and the heartfelt wish that you will feel better one day.   

And I'm glad I'm not you.  (see above jerk comment)   

Age Quod Agis   

You do what now?

Dichotomy …defined

 1:  A division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.

2:  Repeated branching into two equal parts.

I’m gonna talk about the first definition.  I’m cheap…really cheap.  SOOPER CHEEP!!  I’m so cheap that cheap people thing I’m being stingy.  I will wheedle, scrounge, steal and sabotage my way through life to avoid paying for the full price of things.  I sneak into movies, ask for water at restaurants but drink sodas instead and keep a cup from McDonald's in my car so I don’t have to pay for cokes on the road.  I have…at one point…pulled a cup from the garbage at a theater…washed it out…and gotten a free refill at the front.  I know no limits of cheapness.    

When I was young was arrested not once…but twice for shoplifting of comics.  Not because I thought it might make me cool as many young bucks are want to do; but because I didn’t want to pay for them, even though I could have quite easily afforded it.

I’ve gone 3 years without car ac…in Texas

When bird make noise’s there talking about me …cheep cheep cheep.

I harassed 12 different people over the course of 2 months into giving me money so I didn’t have to pay for Rock-band (the video game). I only buy video games used and even then for not more than 20. 

Specifically related to my discussion of dichotomy, I fuel my war-hammer habit with purchases from Craigslist, where sad pathetic people in need of cash will sell their precious precious treasures to scumbags like me who low ball, whine, threaten and cajole them into giving up their goods, cause I know they need money and I’m willing to be an astronomical ass to them to get their stuff.

I’m fucking cheap

No Bob Crachet you cant have a raise!!!

Yet kickstarters……well dear god, what I won’t pay at retail or from another human being, I’ll shell out for on kick starter.  Crap I DO NOT EVEN WANT I have bought on kick starter because its ….kickstarter I guess.  Something about watching that total rise and those stretch goals get accomplished and that somehow I’m getting more than some other person just sucks me right in to a degrees that goes well beyond what one would consider reasonable even by the freak show I call my friends or normal people standards. Much less the "sucking lack of spend what its worth-ism" that I usually espouse. 

I need to just figure out a way to keep my computer form even going to the kickstarter page.  Permanently block that site to keep me from joining the next big thing of absolute worthlessness.  I curse the person who came up with kickstarter…he’s a dick.  And someone should tell him that…..with a baseball bat.

When I was younger, all my friends were,  at one point,  in a relationship…with a gurl…or something.  One of the things that they did was go on double days to have breakfast together.  As being a single dood I was not invited to these events…and when I was invited to events with them my severe singleness was significantly striking in its specious seeming.  (I used synonyms to make that previous alliteration happen…go me)  When you’re the only bro without a ho so to speak, your aware of it .  How awesome for me that when I was enjoying yon spurs game with my friends…a familiar feeling flowed up my spine.  And upon further reflection, I realized it was the forgotten foe that I thought I had bested in my prime.    I was the single guy in a group of couples.  Ahh….lucky me. 

Someone buy me this

I only have 6 Vampirella statues…. I need another one

DON'T YOU FUCKING  JUDGE ME!!!

Man I’m working this one Friday morning and suddenly I just get really jazzed about …stuff.  All the stuff.  Like super manically so.  If my whole life was like this I’d have no friends.  Come to think of it…I don’t have a lot of friends currently   Even my cat ran away from me.  And she’s a cat.  Her whole existence is sitting like 2 feet out of range of my hand so if I want to pet her I have to WORK for it.  That’s not fair.  Stupid cat.  I listened to this one song “Its always a good time” like…30 times.

Not including remixes...that's like maybe 3 hours of the same damned song.  THE SAME...SONG!!!  I wonder if I’d have a girlfriend if I was like this all the time.  I wonder if I’d even have any friends at all.  I posted a lot of my feelings of the night on Facebook, cause really at 4 am in the morning how else am I force myself on people.  I cant call them.  well i could, but I didn't.  I took a screen shot of how many FB friends I had before I started doing this.  Tomorrow I may take3 a screen shot of how many friends I have left after a night of randomly posting inane bullshit at people on Facebook.  And why Facebook?  Cause there a captive audience.  They may not want to read my inane drivel…but if I’m clever and I tag a person in it they’ll read it anyway…..they have to.  No one can resist the siren call of the message box telling you you’ve been tagged in a message. HAHAHAHA I’m fucking evil.  Or I’m fucking weird.  Or I’m weirdly evil…or I’m fucking fucked .  I’m one of those and I like it!!!!

On a morose note.  One of the strangest, alienating feeling you can have is to look at another person and the things they do.  And then realize that the things they do now are different than the things they did when you were with them.  Suddenly you realize. They didn’t do that cause it was you who stopped them.   Whether because you didn’t want to do said activity, had no interest or just it never occurred to even try.  At the end, the reason they didn’t do that thing is because you stopped them.  The worse thing I can think of to be in life is a limiter to someone else’s happiness or potential.  To have in some way held them back.  It’s a cold stark blow when you have that revelation and one that many of you do not share.  I found it somewhat depressing.

My first world problems are such downers

 And finally,  while I often cast dispersion on the world of Facebook and decry its utter inanity as a forum of actual intelligent ideas.  I do have to relay a recent story that would not have been possible without the wide world of Facebook “friends’ to have made it possible.  There is a artist by the name of Stanly Lau who is quite the creative Korean digital artisan. 

Hi Stanley!!

 Two times a year he deigns to grace his American fandom with his presence at a con.  One of these cons is the fabled pie in the sky quite impossible to attend San Diego comicon, or sdcc for short.  At this cons he sells a limited number of prints that are quite impossible to get a hold of anywhere else apart for the money pit that is eBay.  Realizing that I had 0 chance of obtaining a ticket to SDCC I went to his face book page and scrolled down through the list of people who were going.  All them received pleasant message asking if they might assist me in getting some of his fantabulous art work.  Of the 16 I queried.  One said yes.  I took a risk and sent him a sizable sum of currency and prayed it would all be all right mommy please do not lock me in the bad room again.  Lo and fortune  it all worked out and I was sent a lovely collection of art work that I have nowhere to display. 

The point of this pontification is that …in this land of information superhighways I can contact a person I’ve never met or heard of, make a request send electronic money to , and get good back…without ever having to leave my house.  There something poignant about that...or sad 

Next time.  Why giant robots ate my face off

Age Quod Agis