Till death do us paint....

So here’s some back ground info for those of you who

A:  Don’t read my blog

B: Don’t care about my blog

C: Are stupid and don’t remember what you read in my blog

D: All of the above…which I think is probably most of you

I like kick-starters, or to be more specific I like miniature kick-starters …cause…apparently I collect miniatures and paint them or something.  It’s a hobby, we all have them don’t look so scandalized.  As I attempted to go to sleep one morning I thought briefly to all the kick-starters that have yet to arrive and what I’m getting out of them.  Let’s say this lead to a road I should not have traveled upon. Let’s do the math together like a fun elementary school activity.  It’ll be fun,

No really it will be lots of fun

JUST DO IT GODDAMMIT!!!!

Relic knights:  70 miniatures

Kingdom Death:  80 miniatures

TGG:  200 miniatures

Cthulhu wars:  100 miniatures

Wrath of Kings:  220 miniatures

Reaper bones 2:  300 miniatures

Shadows of Brimstone:  205 miniatures

Dreadball Extreme:  240 miniatures

SDE Forgotten Kingdom:  110 miniatures

Grand total of this monumentally massive mound of stuff if it every truly comes in?  1345 Miniatures.  Here I’ll make it sound more impressive

ONE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE MINIATURES

See its bold type and everything

Now …here is the real fun math part.  IF I painted 1 miniature a day it would take me 3 and a half years to paint them all…..BUT….it actually takes me about 7 days to paint a miniature given the quality I want, the time I spend not doing it cause I'm lazy or stupid or doing anything else and the mistakes I have to fix….sooooo 3.5 times 7 add the 2 carry the 12.....is about 28 years…….

shocking discovery

Twenty Eight  years (see bold for effect again) to paint every miniature I…WILL BE getting…..not counting what I already own which is ALOT.  This is not a small number people.  This is the opposite of small numbers, this is what is known as a LAAAAAAARGE number.  And none of this includes my garage kits…which are ALSO not a small number….

I will be at the very least….Sixty Five years old when I actually have any chance of finishing my hobby.....HOLY FUCK BATMAN……I truly did not realize the scope of this till this morning…and then I wept tears of bloody blood for about an hour.  An hour I could have been painting if truth be told.  This is unreasonable. The words I have typed up at you are not reasonable, nothing about anything I have said is reasonable in the slightest.   NO REASON WAS APPLIED HERE TODAY.

This insane epiphany led me to wonder about what else I do that might make me add to my puddle of bloody tears.  This also was not a good idea.  Video games?...  At least…20-30 unplayed.  TV shows?... Countless series I need to watch.  Jesus I am not even done with season 2 of Game of Thrones …and apparently there making more seasons…MOOOOORE SEASONS!!!!!  Well crap. I don’t want to be left behind but that’s too bad because I am.

All this means I could quit my job, head home, sit my placed posterior on my padded pillowed couch in my house and start to consume endless hours of electronic entertainment, voraciously devour vast video games and hard core hurl my handsomeness into a heap of hobbies…and then  die when I turn 80 something still not having completely completed any of them .  That will be on my tombstone….

”Didn’t finish his shit….What a Jerk”

Me when I'm done painting

So what hobbies do you have that when looked at in the long run makes you hemorrhage internally.  I can’t be the only one.  Please dear god let me not be the only one


To all those who now want to ask "well Rayphoton how much cash did you spend on your kickstarters?"

"nuff" said

I went and saw Under the Skin with my brother, my brother’s grrrlfreind and my grrrlfrind Witoonub.  It was ……unique.  And not particularly enjoyed by everyone in the group.  The reason it was not enjoyed is because it does not actually take anytime to tell you what is actually happening.  As you might imagine…this leaves …a lot…to the imagination.  Sometimes my imagination is not awesome.  And I will admit, I do like some, not a lot, but some dialogue that ACTUALLY TELLS ME WHATS GOING ON!!  This was not provided in ample amounts.  Still Scarlett Johansson emotes well…and at one point some dude dances before being eaten by a floor of goop and then there were the dead parents and the baby and the dude on the bike and…you know…its best to let you just watch it on your own. Just don’t say you were not warned.

She doesn't look like this in the movie...but really...do you care?

Witoonyub the aforementioned grrrlfriend decided to leave me an Easter treat.  She surreptitiously left a few eggs constructed of cheap colored plastic around the house.  Each of these filled with either Hershey peanut butter cups or a Cadbury Creme Egg.  When I say a few eggs I mean 36 and when I say a Cadbury Creme Egg  I mean 22.  I shouldn’t say this out loud…but she may be trying to kill me, with sugar.

 

 For those of you interested here is the history of the Cadbury Creme Egg.  Witness in horror the fact that a company that sell one item for 1 month of the year makes 200 million dollars.

It ok to cry when it hurts that bad

Next time we discuss Godzilla and why I might have made a mess on the back of the head of the guy in front of me when I watched it

 

Age Quod Agis