Its 4:20 am in the morning and I feel the need to wax
poetic.
I often talk religion with my friends. First off let me be clear... I am not religious. I do not believe in a Christian god or that there
is an all-powerful mystical force out there who guides and protects us with his
huge god hand or that if we suck as people we are going to some place filled with
fire and scary demon gribblies or that if we are really nice and follow a very
detailed, prescribed set of commands and terms that we get to go to awesome
awesome land filled with awesome awesome people and fluffy clouds and
potentially smoking hot girls with wings.
IF heaven is real then I’m definitely not going there due to my unstable
moral state and lack of BE-lief and boy when I get to hell will my face be
red. And burnt probably.
But yes Religion is all dumb…to ME
In my ever so humble opinion religion as a whole is a tool used
to control and manipulate people. Let me
break this down for you. People use
religion like the following: Man tells people that he has contact with super
powerful awesome god like creature and that he...conveniently…is the mouth
piece of said awesome super powerful awesome god like creature. He indicate to you...the unwashed masses…that
there is a mystical force out there that can and will punish you and if you don’t do what
he, the mouth piece of this awesomely, terrible and powerful entity, wants you
to do, you will be punished. And not
like told off, or given a stern lecture or sent to your room, but like really
seriously scary punished. Burned alive
or eaten by rabid babies or forced to watch soap operas all day dubbed in
Portuguese with mistranslated subtitles.
Serious scary bad stuff man.
So this amazing mouth piece of "God" is telling
you to sit down shut up, give him money and do what you’re told. Don’t talk back, don’t rock the boat for the
love of god DON’T ASK QUESTIONS!!! Make sure you let el Jefe let him make all the decisions because “God” told him so
and he obviously knows better than you. And
that is pretty messed up cause it is basically a social form of mind control
that keep people under some lying jack-asses thumb and are generally oppressed
and delusional. In MY OPINION
However…. Religious people (not religion) do have a thing
that I don’t. And that this belief that
no matter how crappy there life is, no matter what terrible thing befalls
them…it’s all going to rock at the end.
They did the right thing. They followed
the rules and listened to the guy and went to the place and did the things and they’re
going to get to the place. With this no
matter how much you hose your life, no matter how much you fuck up or don’t do right or completely fail….if you
are a good person and do the “right thing” you will get to go to the super
awesome place of awesomeness. GUARANTEED!!!
Whether this is delusion or truth…it has to be pretty
comforting, knowing that while it may suck here, one day, it’s not going to
suck at all…and it is something I don’t have available to me. Without this faith that at the end of the day
I’m not going to go to heaven it means that if I hose my life…I’m fucked. Well and truly fucked. Proper fucked. I messed up and when I die I’m just gonna die
unhappy, sad and alone. Possibly with
brain cancer and a stubbed toe. And I’m not going anywhere were all my “loved ones” are, or are nice clouds or potentially
smoking hot strippers with wings.…(cause in my heaven the angels are smoking
hot strippers...or..sluts...whatever.) So …rock on religious folk, I hope
your heaven is out there and by the way your god is a lie…...coughs |
| Kirk says so ...it must be true |
Speaking of awesome religious shit that you can witness for
oneself, this video is unintentionally hilarious
This video however is intentionally hilarious
Take note that the other guitarist
…he loves what he’s doing…he's rocking...He's rocking for Jesus
This video however …well…I just don’t have the mental
resources available to accurately describe what it is. Watch and be horrified/offend/disturbed etc.
etc.
“Jesus Christ is my”……I can’t even
finish the line.
Cause if the Internet is good for anything, its good for
being fucking weird…amiright?
So these past few months I made the jolly old trip to jolly
old England with my jolly old ex-wife. “What
the fuck is the matter with you” is the opening phrase I might hear in this
situation but trust me…its OK. I and my ex are friends and because we are friends
we can DO this. And because I ditched her
for some conference video thing I owe her a trip and hey…the UK...That’s cool
I’ll do that. However like you my one
faithful reader, I did have some concerns going into this trip. We've been to the UK before and we traveled
fairly well together and that was great. HOWEVER traveling with someone you love and
are in a relationship with and traveling with someone you love but happily live
in 2 different houses and occasionally text each other is vastly
different. When you are in a relationship
with a person you let shit go. Because
you live with them and you need to learn to compromise and they might be right
or wrong but in the end that doesn’t matter because you are in a relationship
with them and you make a relationship work because of love and reasons. When you friend with them…well fuck that noise
you don’t owe them nothing and they can suck it when they do annoying shit to
make you mad and they deserve to be made aware of how much they can suck it and
then SUFFER!!!!. Because…me and my ex…we
are annoying fucking people. I’m not saying
I’m more annoying or she is …but sometimes…..you need to kill a bitch…..that bitch
might be me…but the bitch needs to die
I’m happy to say that we did all right. There were only ….2…times that I really considered actual murder and one the one time
I had the actual opportunity to do it, by the time I decided we were too far down the
escalator and me kicking her in the back would have only maimed her and I
needed her to actually die, so I held
off. And the rest of the trip was delightful.
 |
| Not an exact recreation |
She may have had those moments as well but you would have to
ask her since I know I’m perfect. Or see
it on her very well done vlog found
here.
232.
What does 232 mean.. it means I hit my cut off weight. That’s right reader…I the beautiful angel
that is Rayphoton... has hit a weight that I’m not comfortable with and that weight is
232. This means I have to give up
Coke, chips, cheese,
cake, tacos, , donuts, lemon donuts, pizza, kebaps , burgers, baked potatoes
covered in cheeses and bacon, bacon by itself, bad for me sandwiches filled
with bacon , butter, 3am runs to subway, anything on Dan's menu , Kraft Velveeta shells and cheese,
steak, steak additions, sugar, white brown or multicolored and in cereal form, ANY type of soda snack candy or instant consumable,
Ramen with American cheese slices and salami, deep fried EVERYTHING, popcorn with butter. Popcorn with cheese,
popcorn with caramel or popcorn with butter cheese AND caramel and because its
SOOOPER important to me…coke.
Until I’m at 210. And
then I’m eating all of that again…..AT THE SAAAAME TIME.
Age Quod Agis
