Move That Truck!!!!

So you know what chore I hate doing the most.

Vacuuming.

I'll clean dishes and dust and wipe counters. I’ll pick up trash, throw away garbage, and remove tags. Laundry, easy, windows, no problem. But man, when it comes time to vacuum…..procrastinate. I’ll put it off for weeks, a month even if I can find time in my day to avoid it. And if I can then obviously I’m too busy to vacuum. What is it about this chore I dislike? It’s a vacuum, it’s easy, and it sucks the dirt up itself. It’s not like a broom which is horribly inconvenient or a mop which requires this whole water/soap set up. It’s pushing a thing around that does the work for me. If I was employed I think a Roomba would be on my future.

Speaking of unemployed, here is tactic 258 for trying to not get a job. DUPLEX RENTAL.

Yeah, wanna be a slum lord
Like a rock star
I got the feeling that my dealing is gonna take me far
Gonna buy a house,
Gonna rent it out
Gonna sit on my as at home all alone feeling with nothing to worry about

That whole last part was all lyrical and stuff, like a rap. Except the last line you sort of have to do it fast and pronounce all the syllables for it to work, especially the worry. You have to say wor ree. You’ll get it. Yeah I think I’m gonna buy me a duplex, rent out both sides of it and live of the earnings. If get lucky it’ll make me like 1700...or more. I’m good I can live off that. I’m excited...feel my excitement


So, more on the thumb, today, while vacuuming (and this may explain my distaste) most of my thumbnail came off with a resounding crack. Like the sky was torn apart with a ball peen hammer (That ones for Dylan). Actually I put my finger in my pocket and it basically got caught on the edge. Here’s a picture of it.

So...I broke down, I guess I can no longer procrastinate. All you people have been telling me all this time to do it so...i finally did.


I put a band aid on it

HAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SAY GO TO THE DOCTOR, WHAT A BUNCH OF MORONS….WHOSE LAUGHING NOW

Ahem. No I didn’t go to the doctor. No job, no insurance…truly who’s laughing now?

I sculpted this and I’m rather proud of it. I’m going to paint it soon as well. I hope my father is proud of what his son’s long life has led too. One fantasy goblin sculpt. Are you crying dad...are you filled with pride!!?? WHO'S THE GOOD SON NOW!!! Time to do a new sculpt.

I want this, but its 600$ Too much even for me.

Age Quod Agis

Zombie-itis

MY THUMBNAIL IS ROTTING OFF

The hell….

Like, one day I'm looking at my thumbnail and its got this weird bump in it, which like any good human I ignore cause I got better things to do and I hope the problem will just go away. But then I see some weird white cracking a few days later. Small crack, not like a rift in time or anything Dr. Who-ish. Certainly weird but still easily ignored. However The nail continues to worsen and this yellow/green spot....thing starts to form. But wait, no worries, it doesn't hurt and as an added bonus, I now have is a thumbnail that grosses out my wife. I spend a few says chasing her out of rooms she wants to be in using it as a gross tiny riot shield. When she's all
"Your are a bad husband and I'm needy and I want more shoes and purses blah blah blah”

I just whip out the thumbnail and send her flying straight up yo

"YOU BEEN THUMBNAILED!!!!”

But then it starts to get worse, another green yellow spot appears.

my non existent totally made up cousin looks at it one day and goes

“I think theres fluid in there“

HoleeShit!!, shes right. Best course of action at this point. further ignorance...cause really at this point, how much worse can it get?

So I'm chewing at it a little one night and make a hole on the side and white puss just oozes out of it. And if I squeeze it just right...more comes out, like really gross toothpaste. And it gets brand new fluid everyday. Like the weird crap that comes out of zit when its all giant and white and your friends start giving it a name. Except no matter how much you squeeze it it never goes away. That my thumbnail

OH NOES!!!

I'm taking a shower this morning and when I squeeze my thumb, bubbles come out of it. BUBBLES MADE OF PUS AND AIR!!!! There is air now in my fingernail

I'm at my friends house munchin on some most excellent brisket, but then my finger slips and I stop eating and stare at my finger.

The friend asks "Whats the matter?"

And I have to tell him..."I got bbq under my nail. I don't know how to get it out."
I'm still waiting to get invited back. I Don't see it happening.

I give this thumbnail maybe three days before it comes off and me and my wife stand next to each other point at my rotted dessicated thumb screaming like howler monkey's

more at 11....

Age Quod Agis