Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Nobody knows who you arrrrrre......


Ahh Prometheus…why have you wronged me so?  I looked forward to this movie.  Allowed myself to become “excited”.   I ate the hype, drink the Kool-Aid, and bought the tickets.  I cared man.   And for what did my caring provide me.   Sad sad disappointment that tasted like pickled eggplant (which really tastes bad in case you were unaware) this movie had 13 different  plots…..13!!

THIRTEEEN!!!!!!

Who thinks that 13 was s a good number of plot points.  Most movies have 1…only 1….13 is …13 times that amount.  That can’t be healthy.   13 plots are not healthy.    If I punched you one time you might be upset but probably OK....if I punched you 13 times....you would be most unhappy...but also probably still OK.

BUT UNHAPPY!!!

Also …if you are a scientist and your main concern is biology, why when you see an alien that’s dead is your first impetus to run away, but when you see an alien that is alive…but vicious... you have a burning desire to pet it.  That guy deserved to die.  They all died but I felt  most justified in his death.   
If you were somehow spoiled by the previous everyone died comment... than you have never seen an alien movie…where generally.  Everyone dies.

Also kill the fucking robot.  I swear if I’m even in a situation where I am assigned a good looking robot whose “Sole desire” is to serve me…I'm going to kill it...with a gun.  Probably a shotgun.  Cause it’s a lie.  It’s not there to serve me…it’s there to screw me…and not literally…like I might hope …cause honestly…Fassbender is a good looking guy…I think I’d consider that a bit of a trophy screw


HOLY SHIT THAT WAS GAY SOUNDING

You know who didn’t wrong me…Spider-man didn't wrong me.  Spider man treated me right.  He picked me up in a nice suit, took me out for dinner at a nice but not too nice restaurant so I didn't feel obligated, we had ice cream afterwards and talked on the river walk.... we went back to his place, he had fruit...wine……it was a good night all in all.  I love me some spider-man….cause he cares man

hmmm sexy........

 You know what was the best trek ever (side form the original trek which really can’t be compared to cause it created the genre of TREK) DS9.  And for many reasons…but this reason was good enough for me

Also plot and development and…characters.... and Sysco with his baritone smooth jazz voice.  But a lot of it was Dax.   AND NOT EZRI DAX!!! that bitch took my Jadzia away from me …she was MINE GODDAMMIT!!!!

(breathe deep....Get it together)

Hey you fatso.  Do you like food you fat disgusting food inhaler, sure you do. Look at you...your fat…and disgusting.  Not that fat people are necessarily disgusting but you are some awesome combo of the two... Fat AND disgusting.  Well since you like food so much tub-o-gross why don’t you go to Habana’s.  They make great food.  It’s Cuban…and if Cuba wasn’t a communist country that would probably have me executed for being a capitalist SPY I might move there for their awesome food...and maaaaaybe  cigar...... 

These guys are genius.  This video is genius, all there other video are genius.  Go watch them and be smarter for it 

Age Quod Agis

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