To those who have suffered some sort of sex related trauma
in the past please be aware this blog very briefly mentions it. You have been warned
I’m miserable…and I feel that my avenue out of that is that
I’d like to be in a relationship. As I
work the all so unpopular 3rd shift AND at home…AND hate people at
bars…AND have no friends who actually
know grrls that might be interested in me,
my chances of meeting some appropriately attractive and interesting grrl
like creature are effectively nil. OK
cupid has already been ousted as complete and total failure for everyone except Snowgloves who seems to have annoyingly remarkable success, however match.com
has scored success for such notable names as my brother, Ironcast and my non ex
ex wife.
Yet…even though I can afford it, even though I have already filled out all the
needed knowledge to bring for the light of my countenance upon the fair faces
of many fawning females (and foul ones too I foresee)…I cannot bring myself
to pay the subscription fee.
I have tried rapt readers.
I have left the account information page open for many a day till the
need to close my computer has killed the page yon dating website resets upon. I have worked out the math and the costs in
countless ways to assure myself I’m not throwing my precious precious gold into
a hole at the bottom of lake datingdisastor, home of the hockey mask wearing
murder machine “REJECTIONMAN”. I’ve even
proven that I spent more money on tiny useless plastic army men in a week than
I would to potentially find pursuant pleasure on a page of the web. I’ve researched the net in hopes of finding
that one testimonial that will make me say “YES, I need that website to make me
whole again” and yet I still cannot make myself pay the accursed subscription
fee.
I bought a GODDAMNED 5 dollar groupon that gives me 25
dollars of free internet dating services…and yet because it does not make it completely free…..I can not bring myself to use it
Perhaps it’s not the money that prevents me from using it…perhaps
its deeper than that…..Perhaps I have a sickness.
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| so deeeeep |
Me and Snowgloves have decided that once a week we are going
to go to a place to eat we have never been before and then rate it by the
appropriate amount of yohos’s. If you
don’t know what a yoho is look it up on the you-tubes under lumberjack
games. We are currently up to 4
times. It is a brave new world I venture
forth in.
Speaking of Snowgloves, Two months ago he moved in to my
home due to unforeseen domicile destroying life events. At first I was very excited to have my best friend
living with me. And then after the
newness of said move wore off …I was still fairly pleased with the results. However due to issues which are not mine but
his to discuss, after 2 months he decided to move out and that’s just fine. What all that leads to though is the fact
that now I’m moving a new person into my house.
The largest difference between Snowgloves and new person is that the new
person is a grrl. The other important
aspect is I have NEVER met her before.
So in effect, I am moving in a complete stranger…who is also grrrl.
There are a few options here.
This may lead to some 3’s company-esque hi-jinx, which would be pretty
entertaining. There’s the highly
unlikely concept of a bad porn scenario that someone mentioned to me once. But most likely it will lead to me having to
very much alter my current behavior as so not to horrify this poor lady and
send her screaming to the stars to escape the home of horror that I currently
reside in. OR……shell be a total clean
freak with a maid fetish and then my life will be PERFECT!!! I’ll also have to give her an
appropriate blog name.
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| Not 100% accurate description of my roommate |
Speaking of blog names…some of my “friends” have inquired as
to who they might be if mentioned in my blog.
Suffice it to say…it will probably not be wholly complimentary, as I seem to be quite incapable of treating
anyone with so much as a modicum of the respect they think they deserve. This
may roll back around to that sickness I mentioned earlier, or be a new
condition completely unrelated.
Occasionally I mention my current lack of video game
enthusiasm. However lo and behold I have
discovered a game that has pulled me right into it virtual grip. This game is the new TombRaider. Now I’m sure you all are just snickering your
selves to death (one can only hope) that the new game that I am playing is the
one that featured the buxom and rarely completely clad Lara Croft in it. But behold banal bibliophiles this game
features a younger less curvaceous Lara than you are all are used too. She’s actually sensibly dressed THE WHOLE
GAME!! Wait wait…That’s not right. Oh Never mind, there are downloadable outfits I could
purchase and you know…THERE ALSO SENSIBLE!!
Wait a second... what’s going on here.
Did the video game world produce a game featuring a female lead that is
NOT there for the titillation of my virtual tasted buds? Is her leap sand bound not over stylized so
that I point wistfully and proclaim aloud like a urban youth oft depicted in TV
comedys “Dayam Dat Ass!!” And it’s still a game I like playing? Well Howdeedoo…well done VG industry, you
have impressed me with your maturity and grace in crafting such a game. And by doing so you have made me a better,
less reprehensible, misogynistic pig.
On the other hand I also want dead or alive 5……
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| mmm...progress |
I’m going to take a few seconds to “rant” about something
that keeps coming up. Most of you who
read this know it already but perhaps some people don’t. Remakes…yes we all hate them. Hollywood seems quite incapable of coming up
with something new and so their response to the frightening lack of creativity
is to take movies that have some sort of cult connection and craft a cleaner
cooler cinema experience for the newest younger dumber movie goer. Whenever this happens invariably someone I know
throws his hands to the sky to, very dramatically, lament that Hollywood is
ruining their existence by making this remake.
I hear such word as “ruined”, “killed” and even sometimes “raped”…which
I’m gonna be honest is pretty inappropriate to ever use for anything other than
actual rape.
My annoyance with this is not that they hate the remake. Sure hate it, its probably gonna be bad. But in the fact that somehow they believe
that the creation of this movie in some way takes away the quality of the
original. It does not. The original is still the original and if you
loved it you can run home and watch it RIGHT THEN and roll around wrapped up in
a happy blanket of movie memories. It’s still
there for you like a really loyal god that won’t ever pee on the carpet . Now…say if the makes of the new Robocop went
out and wiped out every copy of the original Robocop so that I could never
watch t again…then yes…fuck them, they have ruined my childhood. But since that seems unlikely I’ll go see the
remake and it sucks tell people so and
if it does not then I’ll be happy. But optimality I will always have the
original Robocop to keep me warm at night.
Age Quod Agis
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