Resin Cain

I build garage kits.  Not garages you un-informed peon but models  of movie characters, monsters and hawt grrrrls that are sculpted by fans made out of resin and then sold to and collectors.  The moniker that they have comes from the fact that these models were usually made in someone’s garage (resin fumes being toxic and prone to cause issues where you stop making sense, fall over and conk your head potentially killing yourself or making  it impossible to see the color green, smell tomatoes  or some such wacky brain related trauma).  Welcome to education

Not a realistic depiction of me .....

That is to say...I tell people I build garage kits. What I ACTUALLY  do is buy garage kits, look a the parts and then stuff them in my closet to hide them so that they can’t see me and revel me to be the garage kit building fraud that they truly know me to be. .Occasionally I have to clean my closet and basically stare at the floor like an embarrassed possum caught trying to steal food  as I shuffle the boxes  around so the kits  won’t see the shame in my eye as I continuously ignore them in favor of painting miniatures that are easier and much less intimidating to me I think cause there very small and no one can actually tell if there painted well or not especially since all my friends are talentless shmoes who assume any art done by anyone  is a work of Jesus or a miracle from god.   (Exceptions you know who you are so don’t send me angry message telling me that your talented...I know this...I just choose not to acknowledge you cause it makes me feel awkward.)

When asked I tell people I'm a garage kit builder and if they ask to see my kits I then offer to buy them dinner because there easily distracted by the offer of free food. Some, having realized this failing in my personality ask about my kits often but the best they get is McDonalds, Wendy’s or if I’m feeling particular shamed and/or generous Whataburger.  And since they still want the free food an uneasy balance lies where I have to buy them food but not spend too much money. Which is good because I need my money for more kits to buy that I can then be afraid of.

My life it too complex at times and some have accused me of sharing too much....

I went on a date with a girl…three of them to be precise (Dates not girls).  This is alarming because my ability to get dates is pretty scarce. However on these three dates I did learn a few things.

One…my baldness bugs me and is what I pretty much blame my lack of excellent dating prowess.  Cause try as I might I COULD NOT take my hat off when talking to this girl for fear of the inevitable hail of laughter and scorn soon to follow the revealing of my skull like bald pate and its unearthly pale glow (cause of the aforementioned hat I wear...allllll the time).  This realization has not improved my demeanor when it comes to the subject of whether hot grrsl will be interested in me.  I feel they won’t

Two…  If all you have in common is a enjoyment of food….well…then you are hosed cause that conversation dries up like rain in Texas in August.  AKA …..Right fucking fast

Three…  The BEST possible outcome for awkward dating times is after he last date…when you look at each other in the eyes …smile…part your soft moist lips, lean in close and intimate……and then hug awkwardly saying, hey I’ll see you soon .  And then never talk again….ever.  That’s an awesome way to end dating a girl and I highly recommend it to all my friends.  That is if they could actually get a date at all.

Age Quod Agis