Randy orton....YOU FIR...slappo boot to the head

Well guess what you Jerks, I was in the UK for 11 days and you know what. It was awesome. More awesome than sauce or balls or…other stuff awesome is attached too.

It was awesome.
I had to buy a coat…in august...an awesome coat.
I had to buy an umbrella…in august, an awesome umbrella
We ate awesome food at awesome pubs
I drink beer I thought was ok, and since I don’t like beer…it must have been awesome
We stayed in awesome hotels and rode on an awesome trains in awesome first class with awesome little cokes that I drink 4 or 5 of
I saw an awesome raven at an awesome castle
We went to awesome rich people places and were awesomely distressed at how poor we were.
I saw an awesome statue
I ordered an awesome vampirella
I ate haggis
All in all the awesomeness can not be fully described with mere words you undereducated plebes, food and drink and friends and London girls in short skirts, and a Scottish dude with accent so thick I couldn’t understand it. And on the way back, we got put in business class, which as you may have guessed…is awesome.

Then I came home

and found out I lose my job on the 31rst. Way to kill the awesome Jerkface

Yeah that’s right; my job is going away, shortest job in fuckin history, a whopping 2 months. TWO GODDAM MONTHS!!! Whose gonna beat that…WHO HERE CAN BEAT THOSE NUMBERS. I thought not you pencil neck squid brains. Go back to your mama!

Seriously though, the hell! I wish I could find whatever dark god I pissed off and apologize to him. Did I kick his mom, run over his dog? Pee in his pool? WHAT DID I DO THAT I CANNOT HANG ONTO ANY JOB LONGER THAN 6 MONTHS

This is not the time in my life to be looking for a new job again. I’m goddamn 35, I’m supposed to be smart and someone told me I was handsome once. it was a little weird and kinda gay, but it was NICE and I'm gonna take the compliment

WHAT
THE
FUCK

You know what. I’m gonna get a baseball bat…and I’m gonna kill someone with it, an old person or a kid, someone who can’t really fight back. A homeless person in a wheelchair, drunk perhaps.

I’m going to let that person know that I’m being treated unfairly, quietly and politely explain my stance and qualifications……AND BEAT THEM TO DEATH WITH A BAT Yeah YEAH!! There gonna understand my frustration for like…1 minute…maybe less.

But a SIGNIFICANT minute it will be

So I’m on a job hunt again…or I'll be unemployed. Or I'll turn to crime and become a dude in the fast and furious with my awesome car skillz. Or I'll get a job …it’ll probably be a job. What job do you think I should do now? I really like the crime part.


Heres the vampirella statue I ordered before I found out I shouldn’t buy it.

LOOK AT HER CROTCH YOUR PERVERTS, THAT'S WHY SHES BEING PURCHASED.....HER CROTCH

I like her and the rest of you can die. Or not…if you happen to like it.

ANGER AT LIFE!!!!