I’m talking about ......put one can in the trash stuff or slide the giant tub of cheeses puffs slightly to the left so I can watch "X-files" better stuff. My coke is warm but that ice is soooo far away. An ant bit me but squashing it is really gonna kill the energy reservoir I’m building here. I’d watch TV, but pressing buttons on a remote is haaaaard. That kind of lack of motivation.
Ring ring
"Hello"
"Hey man, wanna play a video game online?"
"Sure"
"What do you want to play?"
".....this is too hard I’m outta here chump."
Know what I need? A personal motivation guy.
Someone who says "Hey Rayphoton you looks down, let’s make breakfast." And then proceed to harass me about it till I get up and make that damn breakfast. "Hey Rayphoton, time to sculpt. GET TO SCULPTIN MAGGOT. Hey Rayphoton let’s play some starcraft, YOU ZERG RUSH THOSE BITCHES. Hey Rayphoton there’s a spot on the counter. 409 IS YOUR NEW GOD AND YOU WILL WORSHIP AT ITS ALTER!!!
Or a pill, do they make a motivation pill. I know they make a motivation powder but it’s expensive and, I believe, highly illegal. And bad for you. Though at 35 what do I care.
You know who’s motivated. My wife, sugar sweet boob or whatever we are calling her now. She’s motivated to tell me to get the fuck motivated cause I AM CURRENTLY WORTHLESS!!! You need someone to rot on a couch and stare at you vaguely while you try to make plans, then I got worth, until that magic day comes. WORTHLESS
Or Ironcast. He’s motivated, shit he does stuff that uses motivation all the time. Builds car things and paints shit. Talk people down about expensive car things. Like a goddamn ferret on meth that one is. Motivated. Me...Not as much.
I tried watering my tree, I couldn’t get the gumption to stand at the window and stare at it thinking I should water it. Much less actually stand in the sun DOING NOTHING BUT HOLDING A HOSE!!!
Worthless.
My mom calls. She offered me almost 10 different job opportunities. I missed most of them cause was pondering the best method of bellybutton lint removal. Not actually removing said lint...just, thinking the best way to go about it. I still got that lint. Its grown...like weird grey moss.
You know whose unmotivated...besides me. Dead people. Slightly less get up and go then I got going right now. Gee
There’s 1000 ways I could improve my life right now. read a book, learn a trade, practice a skill, recycle cans, recycle trash, clean up, clean down, clean sideways wash my floors, cars, kitchen, sink, or bathroom, wash myself. Apply for jobs, look up jobs, make up jobs and tell people I applied for them, paint a miniature, paint a model, paint my living room walls, paint my wagon red, learn new foods to cook, eat said cooked foods, eat food period, draw, scribble, doodle, have paper in hand and jab a pencil at it, learn a computer program, steal a computer program, debug my computer of bad programs. Watch a show I haven’t seen, play a video game I haven’t played, play a show I haven’t watched, get a haircut, shave, shower, shit and shampoo in that order, dust my corners, corner my dust balls and ball my corner dust. Learn to sculpt, program, eBay or murder. Come up with inventive ways to off the elderly or end the infirm, masturbate, masticate or commiserate about bill gates. Rob a bank, bank on rob or be a tank eating corn on the cob. Sleep, study, write a symphony or strangle a......sarcophagus.
You get the point, there’s stuff I could be doing. And yet here I am not doing any of those (I did sleep though)
Maybe tomorrow I will do some of those things.
Texican 1 dollar taco night spent it with Castiron, Goathead and Gaptooth. Good times that. And fairly inexpensive to boot.
Their needs to be more gourmet macaroni and cheese recipes.
Latest statue to peak my interest.
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| Very long legs...nice |
The spell check on this blog was horrendous. My mother recommended I be a writer. I can only shake my head. I have the grammatical skills of a epileptic 8 year old flying monkey. With terets. The height of my writing skill is improper use of the bold function. Firefox said I spelled terets wrong...and I don't know how to fix it. I AM INCAPABLE OF CAPITALIZING THE LETTER i. Maybe writing anything longer than a badly written blog is ...not...in my future.
Age Quod Agis
Tourettes. Or, more technically, Tourette Syndrome. Not to be confused with Syndrome's Turret, though I don't remember if there actually were any turrets in The Incredibles.
ReplyDeleteFull disclosure: I didn't know how to spell "Tourettes" either. But I was motivated by this hilarious post to Google it. :)