Hi I am a pc...And I'm a smarmy Jackass

I like wrestling, this you may know. So I’m going to talk about it. suffer in silence. Wrestling is unique to me in many ways, It’s not sport though it’s very athletic, it’s not a sitcom, drama or comedy, though it’s heavily scripted to have all those elements. It’s not porn but lots of oily men rub and grapple each other wearing sometimes very tiny man panties. It’s not art but lots of people have tattoos. Wrestling defies all that is logical and decent about entertainment. Everyone who watches it knows its fake but we the fans scream and point and freak out about Daniel Bryan cashing his money in the bank on the Bigshow mere seconds after he won it off of Mark Henry and then got hit with the world’s strongest slam. To almost everyone who reads that, that sentence will make absolutely no sense. But for the select few however, it will encompass months of story-lines, character developments and who’s who and who hit who in the wrestling world of sports entertainment. I love sitting down each week and devoting almost 3 hours to following this fake “sport”; seeing who is getting more or less poplar, who makes it big and who fails to stand out. The Zack Ryder’s to the John Cena's and all the Undertakers and CM Punks in the middle. And for all the people out there who come down on it and criticize it as fake, You haven’t seen the Undertaker wrestle on a broken leg, or watched mankind fall 40 feet through a table and get backup to fight. You have missed The Edge getting dragged to hell and Christian crying cause his friend is no longer able to compete due to injuries which would leave us criticizers and congratulators alike eating out of tube for the remainder of our days. You have failed to watch hardcore holly who willingly throws himself into barbwire wrapped explosives, so that blood thirsty fans can scream like howler monky's in heat and howl with glee as blood pours from split open skin and bladed foreheads.

I love wrestling…and I’m proud to say it

Ironcast aka "The Fox" borrowed my car on Friday, I expected it back on Monday, but when it didn’t show, I was not worried. Today I made a polite call and was informed I might have it back tonight, maybe tomorrow. We’ll see. This does not concern me much. In fact I’m pleased I have a friend trust enough to loan out my car to for a week. Also I have no job so really, where the hell am I gonna go?

Christmas is in lees than a week. On could, I suppose, rant about the commercialism of Christmas. How the true nature of it has been corrupted by EVIL corporations using it as brainwashing tool to force people to buy crap they cannot afford for people that do not deserve it. And this is all true. However I'd like to think deep in my shriveled soul, that if we didn’t have Christmas, there would never be a reason to go out and give a person a gift, or send a card, or gather and have a meal. Our lives go by and we neglect to do these things to and for other people cause we are human, and humans are a group of needy greedy unpleasant endlessly-eating poop machines. So if somehow a holiday has been created by the mega corporations and toy companies out there that somehow forces us as entire nation yo...for just a day or two...be nice to each other. Then I'll but that video game and I'll go to that party and I'll welcome it next year with smile and my wallet.

Also....eggnog

I have an iphone. Now...don’t get me wrong I don’t have an iphone that makes phone calls, I have an iphone with no cellular contract, that I suppose if I have an internet connection I can make Skype calls on but that is it. Or I can surf the net, use instant messenger or play blocks...If i have the aforementioned internet connection. I store phone numbers, music and a list of all my statues on it. And a small part of me may spend a dollar to have angry birds, which I don’t really like that much but everyone else does and I don’t like being left out. I really held out on getting this creepy little device. Mostly cause I didn’t want to pay for it. But when el wifo said hey I’m getting the new hotness you can have my old one how could I say no…its free right?
Wrong
The reason that El wife-o was getting the new one was because the old one was slowly dying cause the battery was bad. So I traipse down to the Mac store to get a replacement battery where the smarmy Mac store representative tell me that he is incompetent and cannot change my battery but for a mere 80$ I can have a new iphone, same model. Well screw you smarmy Mac guy I’m god damn Rayphoton and I don’t pay full price for nothing you sanctimonious dick breather. I snake the Macs store free wireless further showing my disdain for the hitlertarian hierarchy that continues to press me in my quest for the fabled FREE. In this free internet land I find a place that claims it can swap my battery out for a mere 50$. Not free but 30$ cheaper and I have bills to pay. So I bebop down they swap the battery out and I go home. Whereas the next day I awake to this awesome image on my “free” 50$ phone

That’s not actually what I saw but since I cannot find said worthless error message I’m gonna pretend that that works.

I go back to the store; they indicate it might be a bad battery, gimme a new battery that of course…does not work. Awesome. Now I’m afeard that my free 50$ iphone may be come my free 50$ hockey puck. Back to the store I go where I ask most politely will you please make it look like this phone had never been touched and or opened. They assure me they can, make it so and send me off. I return to the accursed Mac store my head hung low like I just ate some child's new Christmas kitten for breakfast and shove my iphone at the nearest waiting smarmy Mac person who I indicate to I would like to have this replaced. I am given a new phone, pay my monies and leave snarling vague curses under my breath.

I love my “free” 130$ phone.

Smarmy Mac Jackass


Age Quod Agis