Your Move...Punk

Quickly failed New Year’s resolutions…write moooore blogs

Here’s the issue.  To write more blogs I need more interesting shit to happen to me.  Which is to say that sometimes…my life is dull.  Its OK, its not your fault I am 37 after all, this shit is going to happen to all of you and I will laugh when it does.  But the problem is that at this wizened old age where I dispense advice like a garrulous pez dispenser of sordid wisdom is that lot of new wacky stuff doesn’t occur to me very often.  I could I suppose fling myself from airplanes with small bit of canvas strapped to my back that when deployed will hopefully slow my meteoric plummet to the earth enough so that when I impact on the ground I don’t detonate like a very messy ineffectual paint grenade.  Or strap on small and frankly uncomfortably tight khaki shorts and attempt to blaze my trail across a mountain where cougars or mountain goats will hunt and take me down eating my innards like really protein rich spaghetti.  All this would definitely make my life more “interesting” and then I could  …if I survive…write more wacky and fun blogs.  But as the chance of these events happening is most likely nil, you’ll just have to deal with the fact that I will update when I have something interesting to report.  This could possibly be never.

its true....

My non ex ex-wife made a video  recently that featured me.  Or more accurately featured our relationship.  As she is want to do this in video form and as mine is  not I’ll have to just type out my thoughts and hopefully make them funny enough for you to continue reading.  Perhaps I’ll put in some pictures for the attention impaired to look at.  Kittens maybe.  I and my ex are close.  After 12 years of dealing with each others (mostly painful) idiosyncrasies we would have either killed one or another or remained close friends.  As I am alive to type this let’s assume “the killing” did not happen.  So friendship it is and tbh …thanks fucking GOD.  I get that at one point everyone is going to look at their significant other and say "holy shit I hate this person.”  That is inevitable, but you spend an obscene amount of time with any one and you’re going to think that at one point.  But as is with all my friends  you take some time apart , you try to remember what you liked about them and you go hang out. The same applies in marriage.  We looked at each other... decided that we can’t stand each others  presence one iota longer and went our separate ways.  We took some time apart, remembered the things that made us like each other the first time and…hung out.  We have dinner,  talk in messenger and make rude and snide comments about each others current relationships on Facebook…..just like every other friend I have does.  It...Is really that simple.  You do not have to hate your SO (SO meaning Significant other for those that are a tad slows on the uptake).  You don’t have to even dislike your SO.  Even if you SO sucked the big one or did something monumentally hurtful… for fucks sake…get over it.  People do shitty things to each other all the time…and if you spend 12 years with someone…that shit… like Garth Brook’s thunder…is gonna roll.  The best you can do is to get up, wipe your hands off and remember...hey…this person once liked me enough to let me put my genitalia against theirs…it wasn’t all bad.  My mom doesn’t understand, nor do a decent number of my friends.  But then again none of them understood why me and my non ex ex-wife thought velocipating pillars’ of salt were funny either…and that shit is hi larious yo.

This is the best you get

I took time to reread my old notes from back in the day when I posted a new note every day.  A few things to consider...

1: wow I wrote a note every day.  I was a champion of writing, like a god of the badly typed word.  I felt impressive. 

2…Jesus no wonder I was fired from National Instruments.  I biiiitched about that job a lot. 

3:   You people apparently use to actually comment on these notes that I write…I think the main point to consider is that you all need to pay more attention to me and comment on the information that I spew forth like a torrent of inane impactful acidic WISDOM!!!

Cause I’m NEEEEEDY!!!!    Anyway....

Latest song to catch my fancy is Kesha and Pit bull’s "Timber"  which one night I may have listened to like…15 times.  Cause sometimes I listen to songs 15 times.  I am an adult I do what I want.

I'm going to dress up like one of these for Halloween...you guess who

This year may see the dissolution to my marriage.  It’s interesting to me that how we dated so well for so long, but marriage…well that killed that shit right quick.  We only made 3 years as a married couple.  I hear lots of stories about people who dated for along time, get married and then break up (ok I’ve only heard 2) I would like know if this is a commonality among relationship or singular to my own matrimonial mingling’s.  As no one really answers these blogs I expect ZERO result  BUT if someone does answer this blog, I will write a blog specifically about my relationship with them in the future.  This may be considered a threat……it is not meant to be.

HOLY SHIT REVELATION TIME you know what needs to continue on in the world of movie making.  More “Man with No Name” movies.  “Wait!!” you ask looking like a slack jawed moron ”Whose the man with no name?”

OH MY GOD!!!  Learn some culture you spineless toadstool.  Here , since you are too dim to know anything about anything anywhere this is  the wiki for him.  Read it and then commit hari kari for you failure as a human.

Did you know there are like ….15 books featuring this quintessential bad ass of spaghetti western fame.  All of those books need to be made into movies and Hugh Jackman should be the new man with no name based solely on the fact that he mildly looks like Clint Eastman and I want to keep the look alive.  Also he played Wolverine well which is as close as your gonna get. 

Why does no one make the movies I want to see…except Sam Raimi…I like his movies.

Age Quod Agis