Hi I am a pc...And I'm a smarmy Jackass

I like wrestling, this you may know. So I’m going to talk about it. suffer in silence. Wrestling is unique to me in many ways, It’s not sport though it’s very athletic, it’s not a sitcom, drama or comedy, though it’s heavily scripted to have all those elements. It’s not porn but lots of oily men rub and grapple each other wearing sometimes very tiny man panties. It’s not art but lots of people have tattoos. Wrestling defies all that is logical and decent about entertainment. Everyone who watches it knows its fake but we the fans scream and point and freak out about Daniel Bryan cashing his money in the bank on the Bigshow mere seconds after he won it off of Mark Henry and then got hit with the world’s strongest slam. To almost everyone who reads that, that sentence will make absolutely no sense. But for the select few however, it will encompass months of story-lines, character developments and who’s who and who hit who in the wrestling world of sports entertainment. I love sitting down each week and devoting almost 3 hours to following this fake “sport”; seeing who is getting more or less poplar, who makes it big and who fails to stand out. The Zack Ryder’s to the John Cena's and all the Undertakers and CM Punks in the middle. And for all the people out there who come down on it and criticize it as fake, You haven’t seen the Undertaker wrestle on a broken leg, or watched mankind fall 40 feet through a table and get backup to fight. You have missed The Edge getting dragged to hell and Christian crying cause his friend is no longer able to compete due to injuries which would leave us criticizers and congratulators alike eating out of tube for the remainder of our days. You have failed to watch hardcore holly who willingly throws himself into barbwire wrapped explosives, so that blood thirsty fans can scream like howler monky's in heat and howl with glee as blood pours from split open skin and bladed foreheads.

I love wrestling…and I’m proud to say it

Ironcast aka "The Fox" borrowed my car on Friday, I expected it back on Monday, but when it didn’t show, I was not worried. Today I made a polite call and was informed I might have it back tonight, maybe tomorrow. We’ll see. This does not concern me much. In fact I’m pleased I have a friend trust enough to loan out my car to for a week. Also I have no job so really, where the hell am I gonna go?

Christmas is in lees than a week. On could, I suppose, rant about the commercialism of Christmas. How the true nature of it has been corrupted by EVIL corporations using it as brainwashing tool to force people to buy crap they cannot afford for people that do not deserve it. And this is all true. However I'd like to think deep in my shriveled soul, that if we didn’t have Christmas, there would never be a reason to go out and give a person a gift, or send a card, or gather and have a meal. Our lives go by and we neglect to do these things to and for other people cause we are human, and humans are a group of needy greedy unpleasant endlessly-eating poop machines. So if somehow a holiday has been created by the mega corporations and toy companies out there that somehow forces us as entire nation yo...for just a day or two...be nice to each other. Then I'll but that video game and I'll go to that party and I'll welcome it next year with smile and my wallet.

Also....eggnog

I have an iphone. Now...don’t get me wrong I don’t have an iphone that makes phone calls, I have an iphone with no cellular contract, that I suppose if I have an internet connection I can make Skype calls on but that is it. Or I can surf the net, use instant messenger or play blocks...If i have the aforementioned internet connection. I store phone numbers, music and a list of all my statues on it. And a small part of me may spend a dollar to have angry birds, which I don’t really like that much but everyone else does and I don’t like being left out. I really held out on getting this creepy little device. Mostly cause I didn’t want to pay for it. But when el wifo said hey I’m getting the new hotness you can have my old one how could I say no…its free right?
Wrong
The reason that El wife-o was getting the new one was because the old one was slowly dying cause the battery was bad. So I traipse down to the Mac store to get a replacement battery where the smarmy Mac store representative tell me that he is incompetent and cannot change my battery but for a mere 80$ I can have a new iphone, same model. Well screw you smarmy Mac guy I’m god damn Rayphoton and I don’t pay full price for nothing you sanctimonious dick breather. I snake the Macs store free wireless further showing my disdain for the hitlertarian hierarchy that continues to press me in my quest for the fabled FREE. In this free internet land I find a place that claims it can swap my battery out for a mere 50$. Not free but 30$ cheaper and I have bills to pay. So I bebop down they swap the battery out and I go home. Whereas the next day I awake to this awesome image on my “free” 50$ phone

That’s not actually what I saw but since I cannot find said worthless error message I’m gonna pretend that that works.

I go back to the store; they indicate it might be a bad battery, gimme a new battery that of course…does not work. Awesome. Now I’m afeard that my free 50$ iphone may be come my free 50$ hockey puck. Back to the store I go where I ask most politely will you please make it look like this phone had never been touched and or opened. They assure me they can, make it so and send me off. I return to the accursed Mac store my head hung low like I just ate some child's new Christmas kitten for breakfast and shove my iphone at the nearest waiting smarmy Mac person who I indicate to I would like to have this replaced. I am given a new phone, pay my monies and leave snarling vague curses under my breath.

I love my “free” 130$ phone.

Smarmy Mac Jackass


Age Quod Agis

The Dude Abides ....Man

Thanksgiving, Christmas…it’s as good a blog topic as any
We all love em…well I love them...food, family, and friends…..food.
More food

…………………….Did I mention the food.

As I get older I suppose I have come to appreciate that were are still able to get 40 people together to eat the massive amount of food provided and make merry, or that there’s people out there that seem to like me enough to give me gift cause Jesus was born. Holidays are no longer about how much stuff I can get or food I can eat like they were when I was young (though that’s still a factor. They now closely reflect the traditional concepts of friends family and good times. I'm....glad i still can have these moments and there are people around me to share them with me. However there is a part of me that if acutely aware that since me and my wife have decided to not have kids, one day, our holidays are going to be much quieter and much less….people-y. This is …a little sad to me. Moment of quiet-ness for that please.
Anyway


Hey Neeeeeew statue to order

Ow it burns my eyes.

Let’s review this character. When I was young I had the option of 2 franchises to follow. Transformers and GI Joe. Now…I can love one and like the other but I can’t love em both cause I could only get toys for one of them. Liking the concept more I chose to lay my allegiance with GI Joe. And since I was both immature for longer than most but still chained to the throws of puberty like all young overly hormonal teenagers I found myself still embroiled in the fantasy world of GI Joe when girls went from being icky to interesting. Now let’s review The Baroness’s high points. Hot librarian look, check, skin tight leather, check, ability to shoot guns, check, high heels check. Mix well, put in a shallow pan and bake on 400 degrees for 1 hour. Masturbation fodder….........check.

Hi grandma

While real girls were certainly very interesting, Part of mind locked onto the girls of my favorite cartoon and toy line. Lady Jaye, Scarlett, Baroness…hell even Zarana had some finer points to consider, right? And to this day they still represent my earliest and fondest "Good times girls" And now they go make ¼th scale version of my favorite ladies of my youth. Please Sideshow, here’s my money, I apologize for not giving it you earlier.


My 52" Samsung DLP TV died. Well to be accurate I believe the lamp in my My 52" Samsung DLP TV finally burned out. It has been coming for some time. The interesting part of this is not that with TV gone, my wife and I have rediscovered our love of the outdoors and wine and cheese and friends and it has rekindled our love into a roaring fire or burning passion or we have discovered how much we love our worthless hobbies now that we are free of the shackling bondage of "The TV". That’s stupid...don’t be stupid.....dumbass

What I discovered is my almost knee jerk reaction to the situation.

TV playing
Warren cooking
TV…just turns off
Warren suspiciously wanders over to see what going on and realized it has broken
Moment of confused silence
Warren thinks...”Hey I could buy a band new TV” :)

This is insanity. You know how much a replacement bulb cost. 140$. That’s it. There so easy to replace that I would trust my cat to do it….if my cat could take any direction besides
“GET OFF THE GODDAMNED COUNTER YOU WORTHLESS PEST!!!”
(And she doesn’t really do that well either)

It is that easy. And yet my brainwashed, consumer driven, must buy new crap even though I HAVE NO JOB brain decided, “let’s get a whole new 1600 dollar 1080p ultra-slim 240 hertz refresh rate, 3-d, 5 hdmi port, 4 usb port, computer port provided, internet ready, 69 inch smart LCD BEHEMOTH TV.” That’s not necessary. That’s completely unneeded. How is this a good idea in any country. You know what? Oh my god, TV has programmed me to buy more TVs.

That’s fucking insidious man!!!

Age Quod Agis.....Dumbass

God of war the movie?

Awwww…blog blog blog…what to blog about

So…I’ve learned something...if you don’t have a lot going…writing a blog is kinda hard unless you sooooo witty that its rolling out of your ears.

I’m witty but not ear rolling witty I think. I have brief moments of ear rolling witty but it’s not 100% and it rarely happens when I’m a the computer thinking about the fact that I haven't typed a blog in like…2 months and all of my adoring fans weep at the fact they cant read about my incredibly lame life.

I need to call Keith...huh, I just remembered that

Anyway. So I had a friends thanksgiving and we had a bunch of people come over and we all brought food and we all ate it and I was sooo excited cause a the end of it I was going to have a ton of turkey to make sandwiches and little thanksgiving meals for a week. Except all my friends ATE all the food. All of it. 13 pound turkey gone! Nothing but a poor shell of a skeleton. I think some people ate the bones. Animals they are...all animals. It was really good though and I think I did an amazing job making it. Though it was a little salty..just a little

Check it out keep up the melo-day
I got an interview and it happened on Monday
Had to be there at 9 but I made it well before
Didn’t sleep in had no time to snore
Filled our paper work showed my resume
Sat down with the guy was gonna blow him away
7 min later sitting in my car
Shortest interview I’ve ever had by far
No seriously, it lasted 7 min...And I don’t know if that’s good or bad. Really weird, also I though t my little song was clever. Don’t you

DON’T YOU???!!!!

Our kitten had her stitches removed from the surgery that keeps her form getting knocked up and having a million kittens.

But at the same time were doing this to her, my wife just mentally kneecapped some dude for oppressing her sexual rights. Is this irony. Weigh in

Oh yeah ...Immortals

This was awesome...looks great, amazing fights...some solid killing of grey people. YEAH I SAID IT…GREY PEOPLE…THEY WERE GREY!!!!

However if you like or know ANYTHING about greek mythology. Leave that knowledge at the door. Cause it will not help you here. In fact if you don’t you'll often be scratching your head wondering when in the hell The Odyssey that happened. Honestly it could have been called "Golden Bad Asses” and everyone in it had cool names like “Striker”, “Wolf” and “Talon” and it would have been just fine. Go see it. For free if you have to..I did

Age quod Agis and Happy Thanksgiving

Move That Truck!!!!

So you know what chore I hate doing the most.

Vacuuming.

I'll clean dishes and dust and wipe counters. I’ll pick up trash, throw away garbage, and remove tags. Laundry, easy, windows, no problem. But man, when it comes time to vacuum…..procrastinate. I’ll put it off for weeks, a month even if I can find time in my day to avoid it. And if I can then obviously I’m too busy to vacuum. What is it about this chore I dislike? It’s a vacuum, it’s easy, and it sucks the dirt up itself. It’s not like a broom which is horribly inconvenient or a mop which requires this whole water/soap set up. It’s pushing a thing around that does the work for me. If I was employed I think a Roomba would be on my future.

Speaking of unemployed, here is tactic 258 for trying to not get a job. DUPLEX RENTAL.

Yeah, wanna be a slum lord
Like a rock star
I got the feeling that my dealing is gonna take me far
Gonna buy a house,
Gonna rent it out
Gonna sit on my as at home all alone feeling with nothing to worry about

That whole last part was all lyrical and stuff, like a rap. Except the last line you sort of have to do it fast and pronounce all the syllables for it to work, especially the worry. You have to say wor ree. You’ll get it. Yeah I think I’m gonna buy me a duplex, rent out both sides of it and live of the earnings. If get lucky it’ll make me like 1700...or more. I’m good I can live off that. I’m excited...feel my excitement


So, more on the thumb, today, while vacuuming (and this may explain my distaste) most of my thumbnail came off with a resounding crack. Like the sky was torn apart with a ball peen hammer (That ones for Dylan). Actually I put my finger in my pocket and it basically got caught on the edge. Here’s a picture of it.

So...I broke down, I guess I can no longer procrastinate. All you people have been telling me all this time to do it so...i finally did.


I put a band aid on it

HAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SAY GO TO THE DOCTOR, WHAT A BUNCH OF MORONS….WHOSE LAUGHING NOW

Ahem. No I didn’t go to the doctor. No job, no insurance…truly who’s laughing now?

I sculpted this and I’m rather proud of it. I’m going to paint it soon as well. I hope my father is proud of what his son’s long life has led too. One fantasy goblin sculpt. Are you crying dad...are you filled with pride!!?? WHO'S THE GOOD SON NOW!!! Time to do a new sculpt.

I want this, but its 600$ Too much even for me.

Age Quod Agis

Zombie-itis

MY THUMBNAIL IS ROTTING OFF

The hell….

Like, one day I'm looking at my thumbnail and its got this weird bump in it, which like any good human I ignore cause I got better things to do and I hope the problem will just go away. But then I see some weird white cracking a few days later. Small crack, not like a rift in time or anything Dr. Who-ish. Certainly weird but still easily ignored. However The nail continues to worsen and this yellow/green spot....thing starts to form. But wait, no worries, it doesn't hurt and as an added bonus, I now have is a thumbnail that grosses out my wife. I spend a few says chasing her out of rooms she wants to be in using it as a gross tiny riot shield. When she's all
"Your are a bad husband and I'm needy and I want more shoes and purses blah blah blah”

I just whip out the thumbnail and send her flying straight up yo

"YOU BEEN THUMBNAILED!!!!”

But then it starts to get worse, another green yellow spot appears.

my non existent totally made up cousin looks at it one day and goes

“I think theres fluid in there“

HoleeShit!!, shes right. Best course of action at this point. further ignorance...cause really at this point, how much worse can it get?

So I'm chewing at it a little one night and make a hole on the side and white puss just oozes out of it. And if I squeeze it just right...more comes out, like really gross toothpaste. And it gets brand new fluid everyday. Like the weird crap that comes out of zit when its all giant and white and your friends start giving it a name. Except no matter how much you squeeze it it never goes away. That my thumbnail

OH NOES!!!

I'm taking a shower this morning and when I squeeze my thumb, bubbles come out of it. BUBBLES MADE OF PUS AND AIR!!!! There is air now in my fingernail

I'm at my friends house munchin on some most excellent brisket, but then my finger slips and I stop eating and stare at my finger.

The friend asks "Whats the matter?"

And I have to tell him..."I got bbq under my nail. I don't know how to get it out."
I'm still waiting to get invited back. I Don't see it happening.

I give this thumbnail maybe three days before it comes off and me and my wife stand next to each other point at my rotted dessicated thumb screaming like howler monkey's

more at 11....

Age Quod Agis

Shuffle and Deal

My Wife just got a new computer. As I sit here working on mine I steal glances at it, jealous of it “newness”. It clean lines and uncluttered desktop. Its built in camera. Its updated OS. Virtual chess. It mocks me with its lack of age and wear and tear. 27 inches of laughing mac-ishness mixed with...vile...newosity

Newosity is a word...I looked it up, so you don’t have too.

STOP LOOKING IT UP!!!

So all this time people have looked at me and said…
"Ray…you totally can’t dance. I mean goddamned you dance bad. Epileptic walruses’ with the fins cut off have more rhythm and grace than you do. Robots…with no appendages or programming are better dancers. Black people say white people cant dance cause they once saw you dancing. You dance like Bill Gates is poor."

Here’s a visual reference of me dancing so you can better understand

but WAIT, as it turns out… I don’t dance bad. My dance just hadn’t arrived yet. Its now here and its called the Shuffle


And it’s the way Ive been dancing all my life. I Shuffle, I’m a shuffler, I shuffled, I may be shuffling now. I shuffle to this song

Now I admit. Some of these people shuffle better than I do but they’ve been practicing. Shuffling is my natural ability, and if I practiced like they do I could enter…and win…shuffle contests. Its amazingly freeing to know I’m a shuffler and I shuffle. All you people who thought all these years I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing are wrong

I was just doing a dance that hadn’t existed yet….

That’s right

I was dancing a dance from the future.

Hahahaha...giggle

So you see…I'm not a loser or was awkward. I had sweet jive moves man , I...I was't un-cool...I WAS JUST COOL FROM A DIFFERENT TIME!!! See mother...I was shuffling. I WAS A SHUFFLER
HAHAHAHAHAH

hee hee
snort
ok ..I'm better now...maybe...heh

Skaar son of hulk was just released. Hes a unknown character. his ex sold out in an hour...fascinating

I have a potential shot at a job as a tech support at home depot. The likeliness of me not wanting to kill myself or someone else at this job is nil. I may let it go. You all may think that's stupid. Your welcome to your opinions (worthless as they might be)


Shuffle Quod Shuffled

Horse and Carriage

So, this ones a little different than other posts. Be aware.

A long time ago in a distant call center really not all that far away, the forces of awesome collided with the forces of evil. From that collision was born a “Dragon Ball Z” like friendship of mutual respect tinged with a desire to see the other person get mangled or fall down the stairs . Nothing serious…but still bad enough to leave a scar one could always point at and laugh.

From the friendship grew a romance and attraction that oddly coincided with my roommate telling me we were making him uncomfortable with all the …noise.

After that the romance simmered down a little bit and the real relationship begin. Fights about important stuff like whether tuna noodle casserole should have peas in it, or if a superheroes powers made sense or not (they still don’t, and that’s just bad writing). Also though an appreciation of what the other brought to the table, someone to bounce ideas off of and just whine too that your tired or need something to drink, but the fridge is toooo far.

From there came …actual life choices. House, kids, shared bank accounts, “datenights”, pets, who turns the lights off, who makes more money, why cant you throw the trash away, why don’t you close doors, car repairs, trust funds, tire replacement program, net flix subscriptions. Appropriate use of video games and the impact on societal changes in adolescents 14 years and older. A really good discussion on the correct usage of the word Marfan. How to make a sprinkler system the dispenses human waste and how that might affect members of society

Thoughts on what is OK to bring into the bed with us…like a cat or……another cat.

After 10 years of all that. I wearily looked at this force of evil and I thought. Would I do it differently. Would I give up the fights and annoying social habit, odious personal traits and general unwillingness to ever do anything that I enjoy. Would I take back that 6 hours of pride and prejudice. Would I restock my house with steak and add as much brown sugar to my tomato sauce as I want. Play my video games till whenever I want. Live in a house where any trash I made was only mine. Have friends over anytime I want without having to make some damn 1 month schedule check to see if its OK. Go out of town and not have to ask anyone anything about anything. Not have 2 cats I don’t want. Own a hedgehog. Have a freezer empty of …meatless foods. Be able to sleep till whenever I want without having to let some animal go outside at 4 in the goddamn morning. Put my awesome statues on any flat space available. Go see movies whenever I like without having to worry about whether some other person wanted to see but will actually NEVER GO…….

Be free.

Its safe to say. I made the right decision and would not change any of it any time for any reason.

Congrats on 10 years baby doll. Let’s make it to 20


Age Quod Agis

Whats in your Wallet!!??

Hey I’m unemployed. Familiar territory to those who know me. Got me some unemployment Kool-Aid to be sipping and a deep admiration for net-flix. Hobbies and video game by the dozen and over 100 miniatures waiting to be painted. What I don’t have...is apparently one tiny shred of actual motivation. Were talking serious lack of gumption to get up and do stuff. And I’m not even talking about serious stuff

I’m talking about ......put one can in the trash stuff or slide the giant tub of cheeses puffs slightly to the left so I can watch "X-files" better stuff. My coke is warm but that ice is soooo far away. An ant bit me but squashing it is really gonna kill the energy reservoir I’m building here. I’d watch TV, but pressing buttons on a remote is haaaaard. That kind of lack of motivation.

Ring ring
"Hello"
"Hey man, wanna play a video game online?"
"Sure"
"What do you want to play?"
".....this is too hard I’m outta here chump."

Know what I need? A personal motivation guy.

Someone who says "Hey Rayphoton you looks down, let’s make breakfast." And then proceed to harass me about it till I get up and make that damn breakfast. "Hey Rayphoton, time to sculpt. GET TO SCULPTIN MAGGOT. Hey Rayphoton let’s play some starcraft, YOU ZERG RUSH THOSE BITCHES. Hey Rayphoton there’s a spot on the counter. 409 IS YOUR NEW GOD AND YOU WILL WORSHIP AT ITS ALTER!!!

Or a pill, do they make a motivation pill. I know they make a motivation powder but it’s expensive and, I believe, highly illegal. And bad for you. Though at 35 what do I care.

You know who’s motivated. My wife, sugar sweet boob or whatever we are calling her now. She’s motivated to tell me to get the fuck motivated cause I AM CURRENTLY WORTHLESS!!! You need someone to rot on a couch and stare at you vaguely while you try to make plans, then I got worth, until that magic day comes. WORTHLESS

Or Ironcast. He’s motivated, shit he does stuff that uses motivation all the time. Builds car things and paints shit. Talk people down about expensive car things. Like a goddamn ferret on meth that one is. Motivated. Me...Not as much.

I tried watering my tree, I couldn’t get the gumption to stand at the window and stare at it thinking I should water it. Much less actually stand in the sun DOING NOTHING BUT HOLDING A HOSE!!!

Worthless.

My mom calls. She offered me almost 10 different job opportunities. I missed most of them cause was pondering the best method of bellybutton lint removal. Not actually removing said lint...just, thinking the best way to go about it. I still got that lint. Its grown...like weird grey moss.

You know whose unmotivated...besides me. Dead people. Slightly less get up and go then I got going right now. Gee

There’s 1000 ways I could improve my life right now. read a book, learn a trade, practice a skill, recycle cans, recycle trash, clean up, clean down, clean sideways wash my floors, cars, kitchen, sink, or bathroom, wash myself. Apply for jobs, look up jobs, make up jobs and tell people I applied for them, paint a miniature, paint a model, paint my living room walls, paint my wagon red, learn new foods to cook, eat said cooked foods, eat food period, draw, scribble, doodle, have paper in hand and jab a pencil at it, learn a computer program, steal a computer program, debug my computer of bad programs. Watch a show I haven’t seen, play a video game I haven’t played, play a show I haven’t watched, get a haircut, shave, shower, shit and shampoo in that order, dust my corners, corner my dust balls and ball my corner dust. Learn to sculpt, program, eBay or murder. Come up with inventive ways to off the elderly or end the infirm, masturbate, masticate or commiserate about bill gates. Rob a bank, bank on rob or be a tank eating corn on the cob. Sleep, study, write a symphony or strangle a......sarcophagus.

You get the point, there’s stuff I could be doing. And yet here I am not doing any of those (I did sleep though)

Maybe tomorrow I will do some of those things.

Texican 1 dollar taco night spent it with Castiron, Goathead and Gaptooth. Good times that. And fairly inexpensive to boot.

Their needs to be more gourmet macaroni and cheese recipes.

Latest statue to peak my interest.

Very long legs...nice

The spell check on this blog was horrendous. My mother recommended I be a writer. I can only shake my head. I have the grammatical skills of a epileptic 8 year old flying monkey. With terets. The height of my writing skill is improper use of the bold function. Firefox said I spelled terets wrong...and I don't know how to fix it. I AM INCAPABLE OF CAPITALIZING THE LETTER i. Maybe writing anything longer than a badly written blog is ...not...in my future.

Age Quod Agis

All I want for Christmas is EVERYTHING!!!

So, as some of you might have guessed (cause I told you) I lose my job on the 31rst of August...today. And this is annoying to me, I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan. And it got me thinking, man there's all kinds of stuff in my life that I'm angry about...stuff that I need to get off my chest. And you know what…A blog is the perfect pace to let people know that I’m being treated unfairly...That I have rights and needs and…sometimes feeling …about stuff

GOD damn I’m angry AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE

I only have 2 houses, and only one pays for itself.

My trust is not as big as I want it to be, it will only allow mew freedom form work for 10 years or so, that’s not enough time

My TV…is 1080…I…not P....I. What a crappy excuse for a 52 inch TV. And 52 inches…the hell…maybe, if I was a midget

My Xbox broke, so now I only have a ps3 and a Wii...and a DS…and a PSP. AND A BROKEN XBOX!!!

I CAN'T AFFORD TO GET MY PAID OFF CAR CONVERTED TO BURN GREASE0....MADNESS

My room which is built for the sole reason of holding my statues is running out of room...and I’ll have to buy more shelves to hold more statues

I can only buy 1 statue a month…unless want 2...but NO MORE THAN 2 unless there smaller and don’t cost as much But...that's it. I should be able to buy more.

And speaking of statues Mike James can only customize one statue for me a year, and am I a fucking morlock here

My wife has offered to pay for me to not work, I am emasculated

My friends want me to hang out with them, like my time spent watching x-files isn’t precious enough, I have to waste it on them.

Netflix will only send us 2 movies at a time. What if I’m watching a TV series and I need that next episode NOW!!!, freaking jerks

The avenger’s movie is sooooo far off… I hate waiting

When I went on my 11 day vacation to Europe, my cokes didn’t have free refills.

I TOOK 10 CALLS TODAY!!!!!

Holy fuck I can pray to who I want to when I want to, and I don’t want to that’s cool to. Who made this shit up

Angry ticks fly out of my nipples

I cant find English mustard at the store

Coke has too many calories.

I may be white an male, but I didn't inherit more money than I could possibly spend in one lifetime.

My bed is a queen size bed not a king-size.

I can't pirate just one song at a time, I have to pirate whole albums.

The Amazon distribution center in Texas got shut down, I have to wait 2 more days for my stuff that I pay no shipping on.

and my 5 pounds of potato salad..went bad

As you can see, All in all I got a lot to be angry about…tell me readers, what pisses you off.

Randy orton....YOU FIR...slappo boot to the head

Well guess what you Jerks, I was in the UK for 11 days and you know what. It was awesome. More awesome than sauce or balls or…other stuff awesome is attached too.

It was awesome.
I had to buy a coat…in august...an awesome coat.
I had to buy an umbrella…in august, an awesome umbrella
We ate awesome food at awesome pubs
I drink beer I thought was ok, and since I don’t like beer…it must have been awesome
We stayed in awesome hotels and rode on an awesome trains in awesome first class with awesome little cokes that I drink 4 or 5 of
I saw an awesome raven at an awesome castle
We went to awesome rich people places and were awesomely distressed at how poor we were.
I saw an awesome statue
I ordered an awesome vampirella
I ate haggis
All in all the awesomeness can not be fully described with mere words you undereducated plebes, food and drink and friends and London girls in short skirts, and a Scottish dude with accent so thick I couldn’t understand it. And on the way back, we got put in business class, which as you may have guessed…is awesome.

Then I came home

and found out I lose my job on the 31rst. Way to kill the awesome Jerkface

Yeah that’s right; my job is going away, shortest job in fuckin history, a whopping 2 months. TWO GODDAM MONTHS!!! Whose gonna beat that…WHO HERE CAN BEAT THOSE NUMBERS. I thought not you pencil neck squid brains. Go back to your mama!

Seriously though, the hell! I wish I could find whatever dark god I pissed off and apologize to him. Did I kick his mom, run over his dog? Pee in his pool? WHAT DID I DO THAT I CANNOT HANG ONTO ANY JOB LONGER THAN 6 MONTHS

This is not the time in my life to be looking for a new job again. I’m goddamn 35, I’m supposed to be smart and someone told me I was handsome once. it was a little weird and kinda gay, but it was NICE and I'm gonna take the compliment

WHAT
THE
FUCK

You know what. I’m gonna get a baseball bat…and I’m gonna kill someone with it, an old person or a kid, someone who can’t really fight back. A homeless person in a wheelchair, drunk perhaps.

I’m going to let that person know that I’m being treated unfairly, quietly and politely explain my stance and qualifications……AND BEAT THEM TO DEATH WITH A BAT Yeah YEAH!! There gonna understand my frustration for like…1 minute…maybe less.

But a SIGNIFICANT minute it will be

So I’m on a job hunt again…or I'll be unemployed. Or I'll turn to crime and become a dude in the fast and furious with my awesome car skillz. Or I'll get a job …it’ll probably be a job. What job do you think I should do now? I really like the crime part.


Heres the vampirella statue I ordered before I found out I shouldn’t buy it.

LOOK AT HER CROTCH YOUR PERVERTS, THAT'S WHY SHES BEING PURCHASED.....HER CROTCH

I like her and the rest of you can die. Or not…if you happen to like it.

ANGER AT LIFE!!!!

Fly you Fools

Club sandwich and cherry coke from Jimmy johns….5.85$

In one week I’m going to the UK. Do you know how much it costs to go the UK…it’s like…8000$. Jeez Maloney and baseball bat I’m spending 10k to go somewhere for 10 days. Would you spend 1k a day to be somewhere "different” I apparently will. Kinda. There is the whole “Wife is sharing the cost” concept that's also there, but it makes me seem more important if i downplay her contributions to this.

Speaking of my wife, apparently, she has issue with being called El Wifeo. And would prefer to be called, I kid you not. “Sugartits”. Despite my wife’s awesome rack (it’s like…some letter past D, which I didn’t even know was possible) I find it difficult to attach the moniker of “Sugartits” to anyone, my wife included. Ok maybe female cops, but after that RAYPHOTON DRAWS THE LINE!!!
Also Nuns, I'll call a nun "Sugartits"...
I offered her the name "Soul Sucking Life Crusher", but she didn’t seem fond of that either. Some people, there’s no pleasing


I saw captain America….Best superhero of the year, and I really liked Thor. The Avengers movie is gonna finally give us comic fans the final vindication that OUR HOBBY WAS A GOOD IDEA!!!!. All that abuse over the years will finally have been worth it….maybe...oh god it won’t have been worth it. I JUST WANTED FRIENDS!!!
....anyway

Yaaay AVENGERS!!!


My neighboring cube guy keeps dropping off men health magazines at my desk….hint perhaps? One of these magazines had an article called “Your strategy to get more Sex” which I of course went right too to read (first I read the “Get Jacked!!” article) But it want some tips on hypnosis or instruction on how to hit a girl in head hard enough to knock her out but not kill her (like I hoped) it was instead just some facts about common sex myths, stuff about how to get to know her better. Interestingly enough, some hot blonde in nominal clothing is adorned on this fascinating read through why men suck at bed. Perhaps if you don’t plaster hot blondes all over the magazine about caring about her orgasm, I might be able to do just that

Jerks


Have you ever heard Van Morrison? If not listen to this songsong. I liked it, you should too.


So Sideshow is making some called a "Legendary scale Statue....its half scale. We have truly crossed the threshold of ridiculousness now

This is THREE FEET TALL!!!. Who has room for that. I don't have room for statues 19 inches tall.....this is NOT 19 inches...its 36 inches tall. Thats 3 feet.

MATH!!!

Sideshows gone mad.


This last weekend I ate a "bacon turtle" cause freakofoot (a coworker of el soulsucking sugertit)wanted to try them

It was as nightmarish as you might assume. I was sick for a week. thanks freakofoot. Your time will come.


My toenail may not be on my foot still....I haven't checked, cause I'm scared


Age Quod Agis

Its Aliiiiive!!!!

Pizza hut pizza and salad+rootbeer…7.50

Sideshows continued assault on my wallet will not stand. Not only do they inflict heavy damage with current preorders like Skorpian from "Mortal Kombat"

But then they bolster their back line with potential releases’ like the joker

And

Where he looks like he’s gonna all KILL YOUR DUMB ASS FOR NOT BEING FUNNY ENOUGH.
There also the potential of The Baroness, Mara Jade, and maybe even

Destro!!!!???

Stupid sideshow

I watched me some Harry Potter part 7 part 2 last night at THE Alamo “Harry potter Part 7 part 2 feast” and while enjoyed the movie, man I loved the food. That was some great food. Is this the food that they have at Hogwarts?….can I go to Hogwarts to eat? I don’t need to learn magic…I just wanna eat there …like…all the time. Dill I die or get eaten by a troll or a …giant snake/spider/floaty demon dead thing…..
Really good food

I was reading this girls blog about her being a girl and giant metal chickens and….her being a girl. And it’s funny enough (though my wife thinks its high-larious). But then apparently she’s on like…some press/conference think on amazing blogs. I want an amazing blog. Do I need to do things like buy giant metal chickens and assault my family with them? But then, maybe that’s the point. Maybe because even though I would appreciate such a thing, I would not actually buy such chicken deigning it “too expensive”. And she did. Maybe I need to “live” more.

She’s also done some seriously awesome traveling which could help but whatever.

Having a job which you do very little at is …surprisingly enough…very different than the other job I did very little at. When I was third shift...It was 3 in the morning, nobody was awake, and it made sense. But now EVEREYONES awake. It is 1 in the afternoon. THIS IS PEAK BUSINESS TIME. No work to do. Just keep checking that email hoping someone has a problem you can help them with. When have I needed to help people? That’s weird feeling. I bled a little out of my nose. This job is either perfect or perfect hell.

I and El Wife-o have decided (a long time ago) to not have children. This leads to conversations with other people who have/want kids, which are sometimes annoying. “You’ll want kids one day, you’ll don’t know how awesome it is, who will take care of you when you get old” etc etc etc. I and the wife have….perhaps become too aggressive in our response that indeed no, we don’t want children. I believe one of my friends called us “crazy people” at one point. So I (my wife still will unleash torrents of hate on innocents) have attempted to tone it down a bit. However, it’s very nice to tell someone you don't want to have kids, and even though they themselves want kids, they not only agree with you, but applaud your decision. Mr. Black, hats off to you sir.

Last night while watching “Robot Chicken”, I attempted to shorten the toenail on my little toe with the tried and true method of picking off the end of it. Too me (and my wife’s) ultimate horror. The whole toenail came off. I instantly panicked and laid on the bed not moving till my wife showed up 30 minutes later whereas then I asked in whispered tones(in case the toenail could hear me?)

“Would you please get me a band aid?”
“Why?” she asked not having yet seen my nightmarish appendage
“My toenail is half off and I want you to use a band aid to stick it back on. “ I hissed back

To her credit,, but not before first informing me I was necrotic and need to be put down like the zombie I was becoming she did get me a band aid, and even put it on. Currently my toe still hurts but I’m afraid to look at t for fear of what it might be doing.

Which is the best way to deal with necrotic flesh


Age Quod Agis

Woo woo woo

So I like wrestling (as some of you might have noticed...or not) and there this guy named Zack Ryder whose some Long Island Jersey shore reject character.

MAJOR GOOFY!!!

He appears all the time on RAW for no reason, Like a background character or he walks out and makes noise at the real wrestlers and all that jazz. So I'm using the internet to ...umm...work...yes work.. today and I come across this guys name. He apparently has a youtube channel. I watch maybe an episode or two(there ok) and so I watch a few more and...you know what. They get funny. This guys legitimately funny. Like...obviously his character is a woo woo wooing wack job but...I don't know...I think I like this guy. I think hes got a pretty decent fan following and RAW should give him a shot. I think.......Hes not bad.

IMHO

4 tacos and a cherry coke today.....4$

So my life has come to a crashing end. All hope of ever saving a dollar has ended..My worst fears realized.
SIDESHOW HAS PICKED UP THE DC LISCENCE

Dear god, what have I done to you to deserve this sort of punishment. Do I not pray enough? (I don't) Do I not eat enough vegetable?(I don't) Am I mean to other people?(I am) I'll need to build a new room. I'll have to buy a new house. THE STATUES WILL HAVE TO MOVE INTO THE BEDROOM WITH ME.

my wife will leave me...

Possibly unacceptable

In amazing Movie news
This and this

Both have overriding potential to be FUCK ALL amazo...with ...amazing sauce and....peas....with butter. INSERT SOMETHING AWESOME HERE

That kind of amazing

Age Quod Agis

We just cut our girlfriend up with a chainsaw.........

BBQ Satai Wrap and cherry coke.....5$
There was noooo meat in it at all.........0.0

So for all you people out there who like Sam Raimi...(and it should be all of you you slack-jawed hyenas) Witness the greatest thing You've ever Seen

AMAZO LINK!!!

This news is amazing. more amazing than spam, more amazing than a black president more amazing than your mom losing some weight cause she totally like 15 pounds over and everyone knows it but no one says anything to her cause there trying to be "polite" but they still say it you and you cant say anything to you mom cause she's like....your mom....and you sure as hell can't cant deny she's overweight cause she TOTALLY is, so you just grin and bear it and say really lame stuff like
"Well, You know..."
or
"Yeah, yeah I guess"

Which makes you seem like your all WISHYWASHY about your feelings but your not wishwashy and YOU.....JUST.....CANT .....DO.....ANYTHING.....ABOUT.....IT.

its that amazing.


Anyway

I'm reading American Psycho

and while its not a bad book.... Just this once...i think the movie was better. Also the images one can get from that movie are amazing and you should run out and try to catch em all.


My workmate keeps bring me half of these brownies he gets at he museum across the street

and while I really appreciate them...they are indeed very rich. and I'm not necessarily a fan of chocolate anyway. But hes being really nice. I fear telling him I don't want the brownie will disappoint him a great deal and then he wont ever bring my any type of food again. that would be sad.

I think Jade from the game "Beyond Good and Evil" has a really design(even though I don't like green that much)...and decent boobs for a ps2 era game girl.

though me thinking that is sad cause she was made to be a strong female lead that dint get by on just being hot like so many Video game vixens end up being. Still...good job Jade.

also doing an image search on her with safe filter off....doesn't bring up that much porn of her........interesting


Age Qoud Agis

Guido chinks?

So i went to a place today called Coreanos. its a food van that sells a combination of Mexican food/korean bbq.....It was awesome.

Two amazing tacos...things + Hawaiian punch.....5.00$

You ever watch Hawaiian punch commercials. Some red haired lunatic beboppin around the screen hitting people and causing Hawaiian punch to spray from their face. His name was punchy...he punched people. Imagine if his name was Glocky. He'd run up to you the unaware victim and scream "Wanna Hawaiian Glock" and then shoot you in the face...and red stuff would fly out. What a unique advertising gimmick that would be.

The person who got me my job objected to being called "The Weasel" and from here on out will be known as "Iron Cast" If you know hm you'll know why.

Sideshow continiues it unrelenting assault on people wallets with the release of

and

fortunately I don't buy either, but you can.....if you want....not recommended.

If you are like me (Amazing) you may want to occasionally take a high potency Multi-Vitamin. if you do.......and then do not do anything to disperse that pill...like exercise...or ...moving. Your urine....will be orange. Like a Sunkist. You have been warned.


Age Quod Agis

This is a blog

Lord I've started a blog.  please forgive me my sins.  I have done this to create an identity that is not tied to actual me.  also I want to post pictures in my Blog and facebook wont let me.  Facebook is a douchebag.

Interstingly enough here is the urban dictionay definition of douchebag

1.	douchebag
	Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker.

Can I cuss on this.  It has not stopped me yet.  I suppose I can.

Here is the thing I posted on Facebook.  this version will have embedded pictures and video.  Con-yay

Well it’s been awhile but let’s get this party started

First off…RETURN OF WHAT RAYPHOTON IS EATING FOR LUNCH AND HOW MUCH IT COSTS!!!!!!!!

I can tell you’re all very excited

Schlotskies Albuquerque Turkey sandwich and coke…..5.40$

Behold non believers for Rayphoton is at a new Job.  It is the government I work for and it is a tech support job that I swore to you all I wouldn’t never do again for it lacked depth or meaning or something spiritual that most of you don’t care about and the other half care too much about.  Kudos out to "The Weasel" for vacating said job and allowing me to fill in his shoes.  Since Face book may have gotten me fired from last said Job, I will not be posting very much about this one,  just in case.  But it is the government, I do work downtown and all my coworkers are nice and wonderful people who I will be thrilled to be working alongside with in the coming days.  Also I wrote this on my lunch.  While working…very hard …very very hard

Don’t fire me

Sideshow has started there month of hell…aka San Diego comic con month where they preview and put up for order a great deal many items I want to buy and display and drool about in my spare time.  Damn you Sideshow for your talented sculpting skills and excellent marketing.

First is Psylocke
I’m getting 2 and I’m going to flip one.  Hhahahahah I’m an evil flipper who’s trying out a plan to pay less for his collectibles.

Also coming up for sale is this wretched looking Vampire
She’s very ugly and no one will want her.  My pity is what compels me to help.

Sideshow is also selling alien eggs and life size busts of C3P0…there all very expensive, but if you want to see them go here

"But Rayphoton" you say…"I don’t care about your needlessly stoopid and expensive hobby.  Where’s the content that I care about.  For you people

Do you like wrestling?  I like Wrestling.  Watch the AMAAAAAAZING video from CM punk
This lead of course to a storyline where Cena will face punk at the next ppv and if Cena loses he will be fired blah blah blah.  It was however a great shoot and I’m now sad punk is leaving.  Really great mic skills on that one.

Age Qoud Agis